There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
