O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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