Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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