first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
