Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
