my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
don't judge my taste in strippers
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
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