Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
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