I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
