I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
