Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
