I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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