I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
