i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
