1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
