when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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