i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
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