Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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