If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
