What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
