Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
