evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
