She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
