If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
