too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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