Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
