Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
