Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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