sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
