Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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