Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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