we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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