I'm going to jail i love you
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
