my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
