Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
