ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
