...so i touched it.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
