I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
