Do you still have your period?
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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