Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
