i think i have two assholes
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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