cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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