So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
