so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
