p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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