i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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