John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
