I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
