i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
