All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
