oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
