he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
