He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
farters have to be the big spoon...
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Randomize
