i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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