i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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