You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
