put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
